Thursday, September 23, 2010

A Few Letters

Dear Abbott Laboratories,

That is really disgusting that millions of little babies have been drinking beetle parts, and their larvae. I'm just saying that you should feel super lucky that my baby's formula didn't come up on your recall list. Even though a little extra protein never hurt anybody. Prolly us mothers would rather just not have the beetlejuice as a additive. That's all.


Finn's Mom

Dear Kimberly-Clark,

I have had it with you Kim! You know I super hate your huggies diapers! I've never liked them. They have friggin pictures of Mickey and Minnie mouse on EVERY diaper. So annoying. They also don't smell awesome.Everything that has to do with a baby should smell awesome! Um HELLO! The thing is that I broke down and bought one of those jumbo bumbo boxes at Costco cause there was a $6 off coupon. Hey, 6 bucks is 6 bucks. Prolly I used the 6 bucks at the Costco food court buying hot dogs and churros and stuff.
Anyway. . . My baby Finny was sick last week with the "D" word,( I cannot bring myself to actually type the word). Prolly he was sick cause he has beetle eggs in his belly or something. Your diapers contained NONE of it. The child was blowing up and your diapers did nothing to help the situation. I mean isn't that why babies wear diapers ?????????????? To contain all their comings and goings? I want a refund. Plus you owe me for pain and suffering cause I had to bath the baby like 7 times a day,,,,and when I would be trying to get his cloths off it'd get on his face and er where. Also, I'm going to need you to replace the outfits that were ruined, and also pay me for the time I spent trying to salvage the outfits. The fact that this is a never ending box of diapers cause its from Costco is really discouraging me. Anyway, I guess I'm just going to have to endure like a good Christian woman would (isn't that cute that I'm a Christian woman, and Christian's woman?). But after this box we are through forever! 6 buck coupon or not! Your diapers aren't worth all the hot dogs and churros in the world.


Finny's Mother

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