Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Mortifying Moments

I work as a waitress 4 nights a week. I like my job about 89% of the time. There are those shifts that I just want to run out the front door... Like the wind I might add. Shifts where I'm in the boiler room which is the worst ever! Its just the worst!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shifts where some "patron" has generally done me over. They run me ragged and treat me like a servant, rather than a server....and show their gratitude with a 6% tip on a huge bill, or sometimes no tip at all.I still have to tip the busser, so in these situations I actually pay for the jerks to eat. God has a special place for people like that, just so you know. So I hope for your sake you aren't one of them!

I just want everyone to know that as a server.. I KNOW that we do our best. We try to make everything perfect for you. We generally make $2.25/hour so you know we have incentive to treat you well cause you are our meal ticket.. I personally don't wait tables for fun. I actually do it to support my little chili dogs. So play nice.

I have met the best of the best in my years waiting tables. There are so many people who are so so so kind and generous. Oh how I love you,it means a lot to us servers when we are treated well. Lucky for me the kind far outweigh the unkind for sure! You know the Lord blesses charitable people right. Oh well He does:)

The witches are now out my friends which means craziness is imminent. I am looking forward to it a little. Last year I started the craziest month of the year 9 months preggo. 9 MONTHS! Meaning I waddled around with a 7pound fetus waiting tables last year and then when it was over I went to the hospital where the best OB ever raced(quite literally) to deliver me of my bouncing baby boy. What a reward. The plus side of last year is everyone was nice to me. EVERYONE.

You'd be nice too if your waitress looked like this!
I told you I am a scrub.

Here are the top 5 mortifying moments I have had in my workplace over the last 3 years.

(they are in alphabetical order)

(just order, they all sucked)

#1 I had a table that spilled a full glass of sticky pink lemonade er where. I helped to get it all cleaned up, and brought a new lemonade. Three minutes later I went to set down some food and caught the straw on my hand, and yep...Tipped Over the lemonade again. Horrible.

I have also had two glasses of water slip from my hand while refilling it. The first one did get the man a little wet and splashed him in the face. He left me $2. There was nothing I could do to make it right. The other was a lady and didn't hardly get her and she was so nice about it all. I hold the glasses so firmly now!.. . .and I always refill over the floor now, not the table.

#2 I was serving a group of prom kids and while I was serving out salads a little cup of ranch dressing fell off a plate a was carrying. It hit the ground and splashed up in this girls hair and on the back of her dress. She was so sweet and didn't even make a big deal out of it. I did though! I stewed for days just waiting for her mother to call in wanting me to replace the dress. Even more horrible.

#3 A guy I knew in high school came in with his family. He was THE BIGGEST *** in high school. Not much had changed! He ordered a bottle of Chimay to share with his mom. I was pouring it for them and didn't tilt the glass and the beer just foamed out all over the place! They were all laughing and talking about it. I was so embarrassed! Look I am just a Mormon girl who has NEVER even tasted any type of alcohol. I've been tempted to though haha. I mean who wouldn't want to be three sheets to the wind every now and then? Anyway. I don't drink it so learning how to pour it, and serve it.. Its a real art, lets just leave it at that.

#4 On July 23, 2010 not to get specific, but lets. I had a 12 top table that I was clearing plates from. I was walking into the kitchen with a stack of plates 2 feet high and IN THEIR VIEW!!!! I slipped and fell. Plates shattered everywhere and I crawled on my hands and knees the rest of the way into the kitchen cursing up a storm I'm sure. This is my #1 worst moment ever. I'm still not over it. My friend Colby then runs out and yells, "She's OK everyone!" cause the whole restaurant sat in silence like did that really just happen! I wasn't OK though. I still had to face these people! My knees were bruised so bad they took 6 weeks to heal....and my ego? Well it still hasn't healed.

#5 This didn't happen at work. But more like with my friends I work with. They made me..MADE ME go to a karaoke bar to celebrate our friend T's birthday. I didn't want to. really. But I was guilted and peer pressured into going . What? 30 years olds can't be peer pressured? Well...dang them. They pressured me into karaoking also. Wowzers. I sang Meatloaf's I would do anything for love and Shoop. SO embarrassing. You really do need to be drunk good and hard to do stuff like that I decided. The worst was someone recorded it and brought it to work so all the managers and everyone who didn't go could see. I will never A. go to a bar again, and B. karaoke.

The End.Have a splendid Fall!


Rachel said...

All of these things are SO funny. And if you want, I can post the videos of you karaoke-ing on my blog so all of your friends and family can see that it wasn't embarrassing-but rather great!!

JameeMaLee said...

Dammit Rach. THat WON"T be neccessary.

Christian Levi said...



Kellie said...

I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. A couple of those are truly mortifying!

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