Monday, January 5, 2015

{To Love My People}

I have a dream. A new year resolution dream!
I have about ten-hundred new year's resolutions I'd like to complete this year.
But since it's me I'm talking about, I'm going to set 999 on the back burner and really focus my efforts on one.
I want to love my people. I want to love them better and more fully, and harder and all that jazz.
Don't get me wrong, I think I'm pretty good at loving my people. But, I feel like I could be even better. Obviously, I could. And since that's one of the very most important things in life I want to be extra good at it. Like, I don't know that I can ever be perfect and making sure my love for them is felt like 100% of the time, cause I'm human.. I'm just a little to mortal to be nice allll the time.. but, maybe I could shoot for like 93ish%.

I will love my family more by striving to create a peaceful and loving home. I will try to be more kind and more patient, and more tender, more engaged, more fun, and spontaneous. I will make an effort to not roll my eyes behind their backs, and speak with a little less sarcasm. I will make more goofy faces at them, and serenade them with silly songs more often. I will dance in the kitchen with them more and sing the little ones lullabys while shuffling around with them on my hip.

I will not become so easily annoyed with my children's desires to play the piano day and night. Little Mozarts I have! It's okay the kids want to watch tele with the volume on 93, right? I will try to not let the fact that my home is in shambles all the time get to me.
I want my people to feel like they can live in their home.

I want to have an aura of happiness and calm about me. (93% of the time:)
Eons ago I cut a little paragraph out of the church news, it is taped inside one of my kitchen cupboards. It says, " One of the major factors in good emotional health in children came from a strong relationship with their mother. From a young age, a child's emotion often mirrors the expression on their mother's face." So I really just want to make a grand effort to have a peaceful look on my face, even when I'm not feeling so inside. Not just for my children, but for my husband too. Cause er body knows that if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Yep.
I want to love my husband more by focusing on being extra touchy feely and affectionate.. lots of kisses and hugs. He likes that. I want to dance in the kitchen more with him while I sing him Fools Rush In by Elvis. He loves that too, even though he won't admit it. I will write him little notes and maybe one day I'll iron a shirt for him. I won't worry so much about the funny things that married couples bicker about.. ya know, important stuff like putting the lid back on the hair gel, and cleaning up his whiskers. Cause that's just silly, no?

I will listen to Payton more intently when he talks. He loves to chatter. I will hug him everyday. He doesn't appreciate the kisses anymore. I will ask less of him as I often make him my go to man for favors. I will make the trip downstairs to tuck him in more frequently just so he knows I love him. I will sit and do arts and crafts and games with him more often. He loves that. I be patient and understanding through the fears and insecurities he feels at times. I will remind myself more frequently that he is only nine, and still a little boy.

When Riley asks me 743 times to look at something funny on the tv show he is watching I will turn and smile and pretend I care.(Cause I am quite certain I will never ever care about anything a cartoon character does or says;) When he wants me to come into his imagination where all stuffed animals are like real people, I will do so like it ain't no thing. I will continue on with his silly bedtime routine and make sure I blow my kisses exactly the way he has taught me to, even though it's totally ridiculous, it makes him feel safe and loved. I will be more patient and tender as he works through what are sometimes, for him, difficult emotions.

I will make cookies with Finnley, as every single night without fail he asks if we can make cookies in the morning. I will read to him more and get on the floor to play. I will make him chocolate milk in a sippee cup, not because he needs one, but because that's the way he likes it. I will give him more hugs and more kisses on the lips, he loves those .. and is still young enough I can get away with it.
I will snuggle with Madsen more and sit by him on the couch. I will hold him and cuddle him on my lap, and read him books, and let him "read" books to me. I will let him play in the water more, not worrying about all the water that spills all over the place. I won't make a big deal when he steals my side of the bed, and my pillow and insists that they are his, and never mine.

My little Jane is easy to love and care for, although time consuming. Easy peasy. She is not hard to figure out. Her and I are always near each other, and I know she feels loved and secure, which makes me happy. I will be better at not reading on my phone while I'm feeding her. She always watches me intently while I feed her and rather than looking at a phone screen, I'm going to watch her back. And I promise to never sing her Rihanna again.
She hated it and cried.

( this is jane's I don't like what you're singing mom face)

I think that wraps it up.

Happy New Year!


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